i'm going back to my ebony and ivory keys....
i'm trying to memorize All I Ask of You....
and i just started chasing cars of snow patrol....
la lang.... something to keep my heart preoccupied......
sige lang.....
i'll pour my heart out using those keys.... at least.......
sana ganon kadaling gawin lahat ng salitang kaya nating sambitin!!
para di na ako mahirapan....para di ko na kelangan pa magpakalunod sa ilang toneladang alak at sigarilyo.... para di ako masaktan ng todo kapag kaharap kita.....
ayoko na masaktan....
ayoko na ring gumanti....
ayos lang kase masaya ka na sa piling ng iba.....
ayos lang kahit na wala na akong kuwenta sa buhay mo....
ayos lang.....
so simula ngayon......di na ako magpaparamdam pa....
babalikan ko nalang ung malungkot kong piano.....
magpapakalunod ako sa pagtugtog ng mga piyesang makikidalamhati sa mga nararamdaman ko......
paalam kaibigan.............
sana....hindi ganito....sana....hindi lang hanggang dito....i hope you'd let me.....just show you how much i.....don't konw...
anyway.....lumabas na ung gusto kong sabihin sa parents ko....tumawag sila kanina... i told them to stop pressuring me and expecting too much from me.....kase bad un!!!haha ang stupid ng words na gnamit ko kanina... un lang... ang weird pero at least nasabi ko na.... un ung mahirap kapag parents mo grabe magplano.... hanggang mga gagawin for the next year nakaplano na.....sobrang mppressure kang gawin lahat for their plans to push through...kahit na labag sa loob ko....i understand how busy they are......pero masyadong mabigat ung itataga na nila sa bato ung mga bagay na di naman sigurado!!! pero ewan... i'm crossing my fingers right now.... let's just see...
sa dami yata ng problema ko ngayon di na tumatalab pang-iinsulto ng APAT na clinical instructors sakin (in just a week's time!!)...ang papangit naman kasi nila para pagsayangan ng oras!!!hai nako!!! basta with regards to those menopausal instructors, I'M GOING TO PROVE THEM WRONG!!!!
uuuhhmmm....
it's not that i'm trying to push you away...it's just that i have to have myself back because i'm on the verge of losing myself to you....which shouldn't be.... i miss you.... and i want to be with you right now.... but it's just not right!!! we........are not right.... i guess
oh hell!! i'm losing me!!!
when we're stuck in nothigness
and loneliness
and emptiness
and we have nowhere to escape.....
who do we turn to?
it's just then that we'd realize the hands that has long been trying to reach out.... God's hands.....let's feel His ever comforting embrace....
