the perfect one.... he just landed in my arms three months ago.... and i managed to drive him away after three months....
so now they've concluded "you're scared to be loved."
i just stare...
because....
i am...
i am...
i'm tired of rationalizing why....
but i am! i am scared......
i can't weave any more words or aphorisms to describe what has just pierced into me...... i was just wondering how you were.... so i checked your account.... that was quite dumb of me really....just to satisfy my stupid curiosity.... so there.... tear-inducing..... i felt so pathetic.... seeing you happy... happy with her..... doing what you do.... just being you.... i know.... it's what most girls wish for.... i remembered everything about you....by simply being you, you make a woman feel treasured.....
pero...........
maybe it was not our time.... everything was right but it was not yet our time.... so..... what's left for me to do is to be happy for you...... kahit na mejo may kirot pa....
it's new year...and i honestly came into my senses na... i'm cutting out on a few things... so here are a few of my resolutions (if that's what you call it)hahaha
so this year, i'm cutting out on:
1. sticks of relief and alcohol....(i've started this na before new year...accomplished for a month na!!)
2. food...i have to lose a little weight because gaining weight sure caused me this condition (i'm under medication for 4 months)
3. him...yes...i've grown tired...sure i like him around... but i shouldn't have allowed myself to fall into my self-created trap..misunderstanding everything...basta! honestly... i rest my case... this wouldn't get any further na
other bad habits? i'll keep them muna...hahaha
oh well
i'm scanning through some old emails....and for the whole day, i was soaked with all those memories... especially from all the men who passed by my life.... from flings to those who allegedly "loved me" and those two guys i loved... and..... it's just amazing how time passed.... i've read the goodbye mails... the "i miss you" mails from some close friends.... everything was a blur... i recognize some mails while i was astounded by some mails - it felt like i haven't read them at all....
hai...
i'm just being nostalgic....
i realized how much has changed....but still there are some things that remain to be the same....
i love my life!
